literally all i want is something easy. i want someone that’ll come over in the middle of the night (or let me come over in the middle of the night) to cuddle or fuck or just sit and listen to music with.
i need someone who will be okay with me sitting there and being quiet until i’m ready to talk, if at all, or be comfortable with me crawling into their lap and kissing the crap out of them.
i want somoene to make out with at the moment. the other stuff would be nice.
But bones tearing jim a new one because jim insinuated that canned peaches and fresh peaches taste the same
ankles - have you ever been arrested?
ehhhh strictly speaking no although i had a misdemeanor until i turned eighteen >.>
fingers - do you play an instrument?
DO I. i play tuba and bass trombone mainly, some keyboard and i used to play bass.
hips - do you like to dance?
hell yeah i like to dance. it’s the equivalent of a walrus doing the worm but on two legs, but yes i like to dance
my abs are gonna be so sore tomorrow fuuuuuck
oh my god
chris pine hates benedict cumberbatch
how could i forget this. how could i forget the best thing on this earth, the best thing about the trek press tour
[glares at both of them]
daxmccoy and I were talking about what would happen in this situation, so I had to write a little ficlet
Jim feels like he was just blasted in the heart by an oncoming phaser shot. Hell that would actually be less painful than this. “No” was all he could think as Bones stood in front of him, telling the man that he was back with Jocelyn, the woman that had taken everything and left Bones with nothing but shaky hands and a flask. No, this was not happening. Not now. Not when Jim finally realized what he should have seen since day one.
“Jim, say something won’t you, I mean do you wanna be my best man or not?” Leonard’s eyes were scrunched in frustration, staring at Jim with a look that made the pit of his stomach drop. Bones didn’t realize how truly in love Jim was with him.
“Sorry, wow, yeah, that’s awesome, Bones! I would love to be there for you, of course.” He smiled at his best friend quickly, as he patted his back, knowing full well the smile never reached his eyes. Bones seemed to not notice in the moment though.
“Now Jimmy boy, help me celebrate tonight by pouring us some of that bourbon I got on the shelf.” Leo continued going on about how Jocelyn was planning everything for that summer in Georgia, Jim completely blanking it all out as he internally screamed for what felt like hours.
Jim was sitting alone at the bar, nursing his drink to his lips, as he let the old 20th century juke box music wash over him. Of course it was this song, of course the one song that he knew by heart, was playing in this moment. Jim scornfully shakes his head, willing the tears blurring his vision away, letting the words wash over him like the Atlantic Ocean, salty and hard to swallow.
I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy
I’ve let my chance to go by
The chance that you might
Love me, too
Jim closed his eyes and let the broken sob fall from his lips, and he hung his head down to his hands. He raised his hand and ordered another drink. It was going to be a long night after all.
It was late, much too late to be caught out of his dorm, but Jim just saunters across campus, far too drunk to fully care at this moment. His eyes were blurry, possibly from the alcohol ravaging his body, or the tears he hadn’t shed yet, making his steps that much more stumbled. It felt like hours until he finally got to his dorm, rubbing a hand down his face as he tried to remember the passcode. It seemed to be his unlucky night though, as the door was suddenly whizzing open, to a very angry and sleep rumpled doctor.
“Jim, what the ever loving hell is the matter with you, do you realize what time it is? If you were caught out of the dorm, they would surely kick you out for public drunkenness.” Leo’s voice was gruff, as he looked over the small cuts and bruises on Jim’s face. Clearly he had gotten into a small scuffle during the night. He tsked about not being able to leave the kids side for a moment and something about damn drink will kill you as well. Jim just stood there, watching the man touch and prod and worry himself over Jim. How the fuck could Jim have been so fucking stupid for so long?
“I love you, Bones,” the words were gasped out, Jim’s eyes looking into the now frozen hazel ones, forcing back the sob rumbling in his chest. Leo dropped his hands from Jim’s face like he was burned, eyes growing in size by the second.
“Jim, what do you mean you love me. I mean, I care for you too kid, but thats a pretty strong word to say to another man.” Backing up ever so lightly, Leo sat down on the couch, looking anywhere but Jim’s eyes. Why the hell was the kid doing this to him now of all the times?
Jim’s head fell, chin nearly hitting his chest, as he felt completely defeated. Might as well bring it all out in the open now. The hell did he have to lose anyway?
“I love you Bones, god do I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, and I just didn’t realize, I couldn’t realize with how fucked in the head I was. All I saw was red blood trickling from my knuckles, and the thought to prove I am just as worthy as my father.” Looking back up, Jim caught Leo’s eyes once again, not faltering as he continued. “You took this broken kid from Iowa and made me into the man I now am. I’m about to become a Captain of a starship and dammit, Leonard, I need you. I need you there as my CMO. I need you to mend my bruises and heart. I need you..” his voice broke off in a choked sob. “God Bones, I need you to love me back.”
Leo sat there silently, staring with blank eyes up at the younger cadet, suddenly looking like a frightened child, caught finally telling the truth after lying for so long. He looked so small in that moment, Leo truly wanted to wrap Jim in his arms and never let go. Now though, he was afraid the younger man was just too late, he now was promised to Jocelyn again, and he didn’t let those things just slide lightly. He keeps his promises, and he made a promise to love Jocelyn and call him hers forever again.
“I’m sorry Jim, you’re just too late.” There was a tinge of bitterness to the tone of Leo’s voice. He looked up at the man in front of him and just wanted to smack him. Of course it was now that he choose to tell Leo. Well hell, it was damn too late, and he wasn’t going to just throw it all away, just because finally Jim got his head out of his ass.
Nothing could have stopped Jim from running back out that door, even if it meant getting everything torn away from him via the federation board if he was caught. To Jim in that moment, he had already lost everything. He even lost his Bones.
Days quickly passed into weeks. Weeks into a full two months. Soon it was graduation and Jim had still not seen Bones since that fateful night. Although he had been crafty with making sure he was scarce while the doctor was home in his dorm. Jim had ignored all messages from the man that stated how he needed his help picking out tuxes, wanted to catch up on his busy life. Hell, he even ignored when the man stated he was late on his yearly check up and instead let another doctor at the clinic check him out per Starfleet regulation. Jim knew at some point or another, they would see each other. He had just wished it wasn’t like this.
Jim hadn’t heard the soft mumblings coming from their dorm, until it was already too late. He walked through the door, coming face to face with Bones’ draped over the body of a small blonde woman, both gyrating to soft music playing in the background, neither of them realizing they had just been interrupted. Jim gasped and felt like the wind had just been kicked out of him. Staggering backward, he caught Bones’ eye as he whipped his head around. Unable to speak his apologies, Jim just ran back through the door he just came.
“Jim, wait shit!” Leo yelled after him, as he quickly grabbed his discarded slacks on the floor.
“What the hell Leo, it’s just your roommate, you said you haven’t seen him in weeks anyway. So what if he just got a little show?” Leonard ignored Jocelyn’s comments and rushed after Jim, running down out onto the sidewalk looking for the blonde somewhere in the crowd.
It was too late though, Jim was nearly halfway across campus by then, working himself up knowing that the first man he saw in the bar that night, would get punched as hard as he could muster. Jim didn’t even mind when he got the ever living shit beat out of him by the guys best friend. If he had a broken nose that next week at Graduation, no one mentioned anything about it.
It was a week until the wedding and Jim sat at another nameless bar that night. Lately he wouldn’t stick to the same ones, usually searching out new ones to occupy his body until he was either thrown out by the patrons, or stumbled out on his own after drinking himself into a stupor.
All he kept thinking about was how he had saved Bones from drinking himself stupid that first year of their academy days. How Jim kept all the alcohol hidden, and made sure the older man was sober for all his classes. How he had listened to him sob quietly into his shoulder, cursing the day he let his work become more important than family.
Jim had just let him cry and cry until he was blue in the face and too tired to even walk himself back to his bed. So he just wrapped Bones around his body, and willed away any confusing feelings he had, even back then. Usually Bones wouldn’t fully remember these conversations in the morning, to Jim’s relief. He was afraid, because of the things he would whisper in the man’s ear as he drifted to sleep.
Sighing to himself, he looked to his left and saw a cute brunette with green eyes staring at him flirtatiously. He simply looked away, knowing even she couldn’t fill this void. Sure Jim had tried at first to just fuck away his pain, but by the time he had gotten into a heavy make out session with the first girl he had seen at the bar that night, he knew nothing could mask this pain. So he simply stopped trying. That was a Jim Kirk first.
Leonard sat on his old childhood bed, pictures of his high school football days still plastered to the walls. Old horses they had owned on the farm were taped up alongside them, a picture faded with age of his father sat in a worn frame on the desk, but Leo ignored them all. He was currently holding a wrinkled and crumple edged picture in his hands. It was the first summer after their year at the academy, Jim’s hair nearly bleached from all the sun he had gotten on his farm, smile so bright it could be seen from the shuttles in space.
Even Leonard’s own smile was genuine as he slung his arm around the younger man’s shoulders. It was a picture of two young men growing into themselves, not worried about the huge galaxy soon to be at their fingertips, just letting the sun soak their skin, and their touches linger maybe a few seconds too long. It was then the best summer Leo had ever had at home.
He ran a callused thumb across Jim’s face, as he mournfully thought of the man. He hadn’t seen Jim since graduation, and even then it was from far away as he gave a speech to their graduating class. Sure, Leo was to join Jim after the summer onboard the Enterprise as his CMO, but he wasn’t quite sure how certain that was going to happen. Jim could possibly decide he didn’t want the man anymore, he surely had been acting as such lately. Hell Leonard didn’t even know if he was going to show up in two days to the wedding. Wouldn’t blame the kid if he didn’t.
Leonard looked up at the tailored tux sitting on the door hanger, still in its unopened bag. Sighing again he rubbed a hand down his face, wishing he could just drown himself in the drink once again, a habit long since been cut since Jim had nearly cut him off cold turkey. He wished he had it in his heart to not care, but dammit he couldn’t go back down that road, a road which he was afraid Jim was walking down alone.
“Get up you piece of shit and fight me like a man!” the looming drunkard yelled into Jim’s ear, as he laid on the alcohol soaked bar floor. His vision was blurred because of the bourbon he ingested and a newly forming black eye. He didn’t have the will any more to get up and fight. All he wanted to do was lay there and let the world trample him. Fall into the abyss that was his soul, never waking from this nightmare that didn’t end. He absently wondered how much his face could take as the man continued to kick and punch at his torso and head. He vaguely remembers blacking out at around the twentieth punch.
Leonard was pacing his hotel room, feeling like a cat trapped in a room full of rocking chairs. He ran a hand countless times through his hair as he felt sick to his stomach. He was already late to the wedding, he knew that. Even if he showed up, Jocelyn would surely kill him before he said his I Do’s, not that he really cared about that now.
He had just gotten a Comm that morning from Nyota of all people. She had nearly tore into Leonard, as he listened to her state how Jim had been admitted to the hospital that morning for a brutal beating by multiple men that night in San Francisco. Leo felt sick to his stomach knowing, somehow in his heart, that he was the reason why Jim didn’t fight back. He had no defensive wounds, so he clearly just took it.
As he listened to her rattle off about how selfish he was acting, how he had basically let Jim go off and get himself killed without a second glance, knowing full well Jim was not number one in Nyota’s book of good people. He felt an incredible guilt in his stomach and throat as he just sat there contemplating everything. Before he realized what he was doing he had bought himself a ticket back to city that afternoon. The exact same time as his wedding.
In that moment he realize he had made a terrible mistake. The person he loved, wasn’t currently waiting at a tacky archway full of roses and baby’s breath, but laying alone in a hospital bed. Leonard stopped pacing and grabbed his coat, never looking back.
Jim woke up in a haze knowing he wasn’t back in his ratty apartment, but rather hooked up to multiple machines and tubes crisscrossing his body. He felt artificial lights on his skin, and the soft pings of his heart beat being fed through a machine. His left hand was currently clasped by something, as he drowsily tried to turn his head to look.
“No Jim, you need to stay still alright. You really took a beatin’, and you are damn well lucky Nyota happened to walk in that bar with her boyfriend. Lucky he’s also Vulcan so he could fight those men off you.” Jim vaguely recognized the voice and slowly slid his eyes shut knowing he felt a rush of comfort at the timbre.
“I hope this is real, I thought I would never hear your voice again.” Jim spoke with a hoarse voice. He was just shushed again as he felt a glass press against his lips. He took a small sip and cracked his eyes again, seeing a rumpled Leo, eyes with purple rings underneath them. He was wearing what looked like a tux, missing the tie with a few buttons undone to show the lines of his neck and clavicle. Jim absently licked his lips subconsciously.
A chuckled rumbled out of Leo’s chest and he looked into Jim’s eyes, a few unshed tears making them watery and glisten in the late afternoon sun. Taking the glass away from Jim’s lips, he absently ran a thumb across his split lip as water trickled there.
“You’re supposed to be getting married Bones.” Jim softly spoke against the thumb, closing his eyes and memorizing the sight and feeling. When he opened them again, he saw the tears finally falling from the older doctor’s eyes freely.
“I know where I’m meant to be Jim, and it ain’t there.” Shaking his head, he finally pulled his hand away, wiping absently at the traitorous tears still falling. Jim’s eyes never wavered from him as he waited for Bones to continue. “God Jim, I don’t know what I was thinkin’ I was just so damn tired of waiting around, when Joce came back to me, I just thought to hell with it. To hell with waiting for you..” playing with a frayed strand from his white dress shirt, he contemplated his words. Jim stayed silent as he waited.
“I wanted everything from you kid. I wanted to be the one that held you tight at night, I wanted to be the one you took to the stars and back, taking me to different worlds with you that were far away from this one.” Bones looked up finally and kept his gaze locked with Jim’s. His bottom lip quivered in an uncharacteristic softer side to the man.
“I wanted to be the moon to your stars, I wanted to show you how important you were to the world, as much as you were to me, but dammit I just was too damn scared after what happened the first time around with Jocelyn. I thought maybe you didn’t care about me the way I did for you, so I nearly gave up. I guess I always kept hope though.” Jim felt a small smile reach his lips, as he ran a weak thumb across Leo’s knuckles. Squeezing slightly, he nudged Leo to continue.
“I have loved you since the moment I sat next to you on that shuttle, and I don’t think I have ever stopped. I don’t think I ever want to.” Bones slid closer so his face was leaning over the bed and took Jim’s hand up to his lips. “I swear to you Jim, I will never leave your side again, if you wish it. I will lasso the moon and pull it into your grasp if you wanted me to. I just want you to be mine forever and always, if thats what you would want. Face the world together, more than just friends.”
He kissed one of Jim’s knuckles tenderly, closing his eyes from the sight in front of him. He can barely stand knowing he was the reason Jim was currently laying here in the hospital. It was his fault for not seeing the damn signs before.
“Bones,” it was softly rasped out of Jim’s lips, willing Leo’s eyes open again. Jim looked almost angelic, even with the purple bruises and cuts covering his face. His eyes sparkled with a light Leo hadn’t seen in months.
“Yeah kid?” Leo smiled softly up at him, his lips still pressed to Jim’s hand.
“I can’t really move to kiss you, so can you please come closer. I kinda have been waiting forever to do it.” Jim crookedly smiled at the man, voice barely above a whisper so only they shared this moment between them.
“Sure Jim.” Leaning extremely slowly, he nearly went crossed eyed as he watched Jim’s eyes on his own mouth, calmly pressing their lips together in a tender kiss, afraid to push too far. Jim just lifted his other weak hand to touch Leo’s cheek, pulling at the tubes and IV’s in his arm, until Leo grabbed them and placed his hand back to the bed. Jim weakly moaned at not being able to touch Leo but the older man just pulled away then anyway, pressing his forehead to Jim’s.
“Don’t worry kid, once I got you patched up. You can touch me anywhere you damn well please.”
“You better bet your ass I will.” Jim just brushed their noses together as well and smiled softly back up at his best friend, and now hopefully lover.
why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that
because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”
and not the slang word for the female genital region?
literally no one else knows this. nobody.
picture zane and ty after they’ve just busted a coke ring working out of a strip joint (no it’s not original, who do you think I am, God?)
they’re standing there in the aftermath and zane was undercover as a stripper and ty cocks his head and says “you know i never did get to see you dance” with that stupid smirk and zane raises a single eyebrow, puts a hand on his chest and shoves him into a chair.
zane glances at him and he’s wearing smoky eyeliner and normally that wouldn’t do it for ty but holy fuck is it now, that and the fact that zane’s wearing cowboy boots and leather pants. zane turns on his heel to go put on a song and as he struts toward the stage he steals ty’s cowboy hat off his head (just go with it ok)
all of a sudden the song starts playing over the sound system with some twangy harmonica and ty has to press his fist into his mouth as zane starts moving to the guitar, his back up against the pole. one hip dips and the other follows after in a fluid roll, and zane’s got his head down and one arm grabbing the pole above his head.
when the chorus comes in he reaches up for the hat and takes it off, tossing it in ty’s lap, and turns his back to put his crotch against the pole, slowly sliding down until he’s bent over backward and grinding up against the pole, looking straight at ty, and ty’s mouth is gaping now.
zane grins upside down at him and works his way back up, making his way around the pole, running a hand through his hair. he leans against the pole again, looking sideways at ty as he pumps his hips against air, working his way down. he reaches up to grab the pole again and turns against it, rolling his body into it. then he grabbs the pole with both hands and lifts his feet off the ground, spinning around it and slinking back down to a crouch. he hangs back on one hand, gyrating against the pole again, and runs his free hand down his chest.
ty gritts his teeth and sets his hat on the arm of the chair, eyes dark and blazing. the second zane’s hand reaches his crotch he tosses his head back, unable to suppress a grin, and palms at the bulge in his pants. when he lifts his head again he crooks a finger at ty, and that’s all ty needs because it’s ty before the Marine is shooting out of the chair and hauling zane up for a hard kiss that’s 90% teeth and ty backing zane up to the back wall of the stage, grinding into him, and zane pulls back with a smirk.
"i wanna be a cowboy, baby," and ty growls at him to shut up.
“How terrible it is to love something death can touch.”
#THE WAY THE AIR JUST GOES RIGHT OUT OF BOTH OF THEM #THE WAY JIM COLLAPSES WITH RELIEF AND BONES—LEONARD; NOW—WITH DESPAIR #THE WAY THEY’RE BOTH SO TANGLED UP IN EACH OTHER THAT THEY’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO EXIST APART #AND WHERE ONE OF THEM WAS SAVED BY A STRANGER AND A CHANCE #THE OTHER WAS SAVED BY PURE GRIT AND WILL AND DETERMINATION AND BONES OF STEEL THAT WRAPPED AROUND HIS HEART #AND MADE HIM STRONG AND HARD ENOUGH TO FIGHT UNTIL HIS CAPTAIN WAS BREATHING AGAIN #BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE’D FOLLOW SPOCK IF HE HAD TO BUT HE’D NEVER BE BONES’ CAPTAIN #NEVER #NOT LIKE JIM WAS #THEY’D NEVER HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP #SO INSTEAD LEONARD BREAKS ALL THE LAWS OF SCIENCE TO SAVE HIS CAPTAIN #BECAUSE JIM WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS BE HIS CAPTAIN #ALWAYS #GOD DAMMIT I GOT EMOTINOSL ON A GIFSET AGAIN (tags via hollyandvice)